The Naval Aviator

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Foreword by Mike
This little bit of humour was sent to me by a naval aviator. I was taught my high-performance and complex aircraft ratings by a naval aviator and in truth I have a lot of difficulty fitting either of them into any of the descriptions below apart from the professional part that is, having said that, they are both very professional so I think we can expand their skills to include "laudable masculine talents" detail below - George and Allan, you know who you are :o)

PS - And the female naval aviators look just as tough, although having read her profile I'd maintain it's the Brit in her...

As seen by himself:  An incredibly intelligent, tall, handsome, innovative, and highly trained Professional Killer.  Idol to countless females and gentleman adventurers, who wears a Star Sapphire Ring, carries a hair-trigger .45 Auto in a specially designed, hand-made quick-draw holster along with his trusty Demo knife, who is always on time thanks to his ability to obtain immediate transportation and the reliability of his Rolex watch.

As seen by his Wife:  A disreputable member of the family who comes home once a year all bruised up driving a stolen jeep up to the back door carrying a B-4 bag full of dirty laundry with a hard-on showing through his stained flight suit, smelling of stale booze and JP-4, wearing a huge watch, a fake ring, and that damn ugly beat-up pistol in that stupid holster, who will three months later go out the front door, thankfully for another year.

As seen by his Commander:  A fine specimen of a drunken, brawling, jeep stealing,  woman corrupting liar, with a Star Sapphire ring, fantastically accurate Rolex watch, an unauthorized .45 in a non-regulation shoulder holster, and trusty Demo knife.

As seen by Wing Headquarters:
  The embodiment of a drunken, brawling, jeep stealing,  lying, zipper-suited Sun God, with a ring, a proscribed 1911A1 in a non-regulation shoulder holster, a Rolex watch, who for some reason carries a Demo knife.

As seen by The DoD:  An overpaid, rule-ignoring, over-ranked tax burden, who is unfortunately totally indispensable simply because he has volunteered to go Anywhere, and do Anything, at Any Time, only so long as he can booze it up, brawl, steal jeeps, lie, and wear a star sapphire ring, Rolex watch, and carry an obsolete hand gun and a Demo knife.

As seen by the Enemy:  The implacable face of Death…

 Copyright © Mike Wardley, 2011